Announcing the Zombie Adoption Program

*Trumpet Noises*

Together with brilliant interactive storyteller Caleb Palmquist, the Oneshi Press crew is proud to announce the launch of a brand-new, completely unprecedented, utterly original interactive story! The Zombie Adoption Program, launching on October 30, will be totally unlike our previous projects. Because it’s not a comic book. It’s not a fantasy novel, either. But it is a story. And it’s one we need your help to tell.

About the Zombie Adoption Program

Handsome Farmer Curtis (pictured above, and who you may recognize from Arc 1 of Mr. Guy: Zombie Hunter) was just a simple farmer. Like many of us, he was trying to figure out how to move forward in strange and frightening times. He’d tried the more conventional approaches to zombie control, even went as far as to hire a certain, very charismatic zombie hunter… But that was mighty spendy, and the clean-up sure was a chore.

And that’s when it hit him. Heck, these shamblin’ types were just trying to un-live their best after-lives! Why spend all his hard-earned cash on zombie hunters when he could just give these un-dead folks some tender loving after-life care? So, he decided to turn his farm into the Sanctuary for the Living Impaired. 

Adopt a Zombie

The Zombie Adoption Program depends on kindhearted folks like yourselves to shelter, feed, and provide for the living impaired individuals residing at the sanctuary. For a small monthly donation, you can adopt one of the recently un-deceased. Your subscription will go directly to the care of your new living-impaired friend.

And, more than that, your subscription will put you in control of their days here at the sanctuary! You’ll help us make decisions about their after-lives, from what we feed the un-dead, to how they spend their leisure time, to their choice of physical activities! We’ll send you monthly images of your zombie and their friends, updates from around the sanctuary, and lots more. So you’ll never miss a moment of their exciting—but peaceful—after-life!

The Zombie Adoption Program will launch on Thursday, October 30! And boy, howdy, would we like to have you along! Sign up now to be notified when the Sanctuary for the Living Impaired opens its doors. Then, be one of the first to adopt your very own zombie!